My Creative Outlet

I'm not going to lie, lately I have been pretty irritable and feeling unfulfilled in my job. My job has nothing to do with what I studied in college nor is it something I EVER imagined I would be doing; but with this economy it is a job I am grateful for. In college I started studying graphic design because I thought it would be a great job for a stay at home mom and I loved all of the creativity and art of it. However, the graphic design program at BYU is very competitive and fearing that I might not have what it takes I was led to what a major that felt so obviously right for me. Home and Family Living with an emphasis in Clothing Design and Construction. I have being sewing since early Jr. High and drawing/designing clothes since I could hold a pencil. Though it is something I have always loved I never considered making it a career until midway through college. By this time handfuls of companies that designed and produced modest and cute clothes were popping up and doing really well so that was my goal, to either work for them or get the guts to do my own line. I finished my degree as quickly as I could and set off in pursuit of a career I would love! It was August 2009, and the economy was at its worst. I researched every modest design company I knew of but to my dismay none were hiring and especially not for designers because typically the owners did the designing. I interviewed with Modbod, Modbe, applied at Downeast and any other place that was hiring. I was blessed to know someone that knew someone who owned MikaRose, a company that designed and produced modest dresses, and wouldn't you know Mika hired me as her assistant. My favorite part of working with her was the photo shoot! It was so much fun shopping for accessories and putting outfits together and helping the models get ready. My least favorite part was the fact that I don't think she has a clear vision of what she wanted me to do so after about a month she let me go because they could not afford to pay me. I went home devastated and dreaded the world of unemployment again, however, when I got home there was an email there waiting for me. Months earlier I had applied for a retail management internship in Disney World and that day they sent me a letter telling me to call and schedule an interview! If I had not been let go that day I wouldn't even consider interviewing. I called, I scheduled, I interviewed, it went very poorly......amazingly, I got it! A couple months later I packed up my car and was off to manage at Disney's All Star Resort for a year. It was long hours and very stressful learning it all but I learned a TON about managing people and how Disney's business works. I would not trade that experience for anything. The very best part of it was that it put in me in a position to meet my sweetheart who is absolutely perfect for me and I love him so stinkin' much! The one down side of the internship was that with all the stress and time I was putting into it I had no energy left for sewing or creating, I told myself I was putting it on pause and that is where it has been ever since. Two years have passed since I started that internship; I worked at a wedding dress store that went out of business and doing a temporary graphic design job and now I work for the state collecting child support. We barley make enough to pay our bills and while that is alright for now and I should feel secure and happy about that but I don't; I come home crying at least once a week. It is partly because I feel underutilized and underpaid and partly because I am not doing anything that I love or even like. I rarely sew or do art anymore because I am so stressed about making the bills, cooking, cleaning and taking care of other responsibilities. I have no outlet to satisfy my creativity therefore, I am making this blog! It is going to be the place where I can write about what is going on in me and Tanner's lives a place where I can express my creativity and post things I have sewn or made! That's right! I said sew! I am going to start sewing again! I will write about what I am cooking for dinner, cute things I find online, things that we are learning and little tidbits and thoughts about life! This first post has been very long but it is so nice to just write what I am thinking! I am very exciting about blogging!